Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Workout Today
Written by Scott Everson
YAWN! It’s morning and I’m tired! How am I supposed to workout like this? I had big plans last night that I would wake up today and be uber productive. I was going to make the day count but I’m not so sure anymore. Of course, I would LOVE to workout and take care of my plans but I have a lot on my plate right now.
Before you judge just hear me out. NO NO I have some legit reasons:
- I’m tired! Didn’t I already tell you this? Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m getting up there in age. I’m starting to see a lot of floaters in my eyes. I look to the right, I look to the left, they just follow me around wherever I go. My neck kind of hurts. My pillow is losing it’s luster but what am I to do? Should I buy a new pillow every 6 months? Pillows aren’t made like they were in the old days. Back then you’d buy a pillow and it would last for at least 10 years. Great, there’s another item for my to do list today!
I just lost my train of thought.
This is random but sometimes when I’m deliriously tired I think of Jackrabbit Johannsen, a world famous Canadian cross country skier. He went skiing with me once when I was very little. I was about 4 years old and he was about 109 or so. Yes, you read that right. Old Jackrabbit was a total badass and skied in our crazy Canadian winters well into his hundreds. He never gave it up.
Where was I again? Oh ya, so as I was saying. I’m tired OK! Leave me alone!
- I like to browse the internet. There is so much to do on the world wide web these days. First I have to check my Facebook and then update my Twitter. What is Deloris up to today? How does Deloris feel? What is Deloris eating for lunch? There is only one way to find out and that’s to check my news feed! I like to keep all my friends and fans updated by sharing all my feelings on my social media pages. Today I’m going to tweet about how tired I feel. Maybe I’ll keep it interesting by starting a rant on how much I hated the referee in last night’s hockey game. C’mon ref! That was a goal! YA BUM!
Darn, I lost my train of thought again. I guess it’s a generational thing. Let’s face it, anyone born after 1980 has ADHD.
Speaking of Jackrabbit Johannsen, another thought just popped into my head. Remember that guy Terry Fox? He had an aggressive type of bone cancer which he succumbed to at the young age of 22. He had his leg amputated and used a rudimentary prosthetic limb to help him in a marathon that took him 5373 kilometers and 143 days on the road. In his quest to gain funding he stated that he would “conquer” his disability and promised to complete his run, even if he had to “crawl every last mile”.
- How am I supposed to workout when I have such a dirty place. You think this sounds like an excuse? Why don’t you come over and see for yourself. I have frikken cobwebs near the window sill! I can’t sleep knowing there are insects crawling around my place. You know that feeling when you put the covers on at night, sometimes it feels like there are spiders crawling up your legs. Do you know that the average person swallows about 8 spiders a year while they sleep? This is absolutely true. Spiders attack when you’re sleeping and will have no qualms about crawling into your mouth. I’ve seen it happen more than once!
I’m sorry but I forgot to take my ADHD meds again.
Remember Trischa Zorn? She’s the most successful athlete to compete in the Paralympic Games, having won 55 medals (41 gold, 9 silver and 5 bronze). She did this all without the use of eyesight. Trischa was blind from birth and learned to swim despite being excluded from swimming classes in her elementary school due to her disability.