By Scott Everson
A lot of people go through their lives feeling unfulfilled. Most of them feel that way and don’t even understand why. I know that I did for the majority of my life. I had a family that cares about me, good friends, was healthy and active and yet I always felt like I was missing something. I looked to other people for answers. What the heck should I be doing with my life? Well, perhaps this little essay will provide you with some answers. Keep in mind, I’m not a self-help guru nor have I ever claimed to be. Over the years I’ve read the material and listened to some of these “gurus” and I still have yet to find one that seems genuine.
Here is a statement that you’ll never have a self-help motivator tell you- NEVER LOOK TO OTHER PEOPLE FOR ANSWERS.
Seeking answers from others as to how to live a fulfilling life is the worst mistake you can make. The irony isn’t lost on me that part of my answer to self-fulfillment is to not seek answers from other people.
When I was a little kid, I would tell people that I wanted to be a business man when I grow up. When I was in high school, my guidance councillor told me I should get into computer sciences because that was the way of the future. Truth be told, we are molded into mediocrity. We are molded into what we aren’t supposed to be. As humans our instinct is to follow others. If others are doing it then it must be ok. If it’s Sunday night and you have a feeling of dread for the work week ahead then you aren’t doing what you’re supposed to be doing. If it’s Friday evening and you have a sigh of relief that the work week is over then you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing.
I told many people over the years that I didn’t feel fulfilled or content in my career. Their answer was always the same; “so what, that’s how most people feel at their jobs”. Does that make it ok? If everyone else doesn’t enjoy what they do, that makes it ok to be in the same boat?
How would it feel if you woke up every morning and said “this is fucking awesome”! You are excited for the day, the week, the month and the years ahead! Live life on your own terms and own yourself.
The definition and understanding of fulfillment is different for everyone but there are some fundamental principles that I believe apply to everyone:
- Constantly challenge your mind and body. We are all given the gift of a mind and body and yet most of us don’t take advantage of these gifts. To feel strong, both mentally and physically is an unbelievable feeling. I’m not going to bore you with the health benefits of exercise. Anyone who is into fitness understands the amazing feeling to be in charge of your body, pushing it to it’s limits and molding it in different ways. Human beings are not designed to be sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours a day, it’s making us sick. Those who don’t believe this is an important component to life have given into laziness or have just given up. It does matter. Your health and life matters. Striving to be the best version of yourself matters.
I have never met a person that doesn’t have the ability to learn anything they put their mind to. It’s unfortunate that after high school or university that most of us put the books down and stop trying to educate ourselves. Like in fitness, we all have a lot of learning to do and it is a lifelong process. The most cherished item in your wallet should be your library card.
- Strive to make the world a better place. What’s the point of living on this earth if you’re not going to contribute something positive to it? Most of us fall into the nitty gritty mundane details of life and we lose sight as to what truly matters. Many successful people, or at least some, think about their mortality on a daily basis. It keeps their eye on the bigger picture of life. Don’t fall into the black hole of nihilism for yourself and the world, our lives and the world matter in a way that we can’t comprehend. Striving for greed, a bigger house or a nicer car will never fill a void in your life. These things still rank on the scale of mediocrity and often have a negative effect on yourself and the world.
- Never lose yourself. The year is 2016 and the world feels like it’s going down the shitter. It’s easy to get lost in the negativity of our weekly gun rampages and the bullshit of power hungry, dishonest politicians and greedy corporate suits. One of my favorite Nietzsche quotes is: “battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you”. Meaning, if you fight with monsters you better make sure you do not become one. If you focus on negative things then you will become a negative person. A strong person’s values remain steadfast and will not change, no matter what kind of adversity or success they face in their lives.
Getting started isn’t as difficult as you think. Here are two serious questions you need to ask yourself:
- What are you passionate about?
Simple! Write out a couple of things you love to do outside of your job. This can’t be decided by your parents of friends. Sometimes great things don’t come out of logic, they come out of intuition.
- How can you make a career out of it?
How can you turn your passion into earning a living from it? I get that you need money but can you work on this bit by bit in your spare time until it grows into a full-time prospect? Can you do it on your own terms, inspired by your own creative mind?
I’ll finish this article with a cliché ending of one-liners. It’s easy to talk yourself out of anything, the hard part is talking yourself into doing something. If you can relate to what I’m saying then please don’t put this off. Put down all your distractions this week and think about it. Do it now and don’t look back. If you’re not the greatest inspiration in your life then you’re doing something wrong. Live life like every day is your last because one day you’ll be right.